The question is...

So my question is...

I was applying the last touches of my make-up. Tim said that he would be here at 6pm and he was a man true to his word. Tonight I was going to his church. Not having gone to church since starting my relationship with Hunter, I didn't know what to expect. Would the walls come tumbling down because an adulteress walked into the building? Turning off my bathroom light, I waited in the living room for Tim to arrive, while I waited I mentally flashed back to the day he asked me...

“So will you?” Tim asked. I just returned from my insane conversation with my cousin, Rachel. Thinking back to my reaction, I've never exploded to that degree. Usually I'm a balance person with my emotions. But I was really upset with her and I wanted to let her know how upset I was. When I ran out Tim had stayed the night before. Unsure as to why I left so suddenly or why I didn't want to give or receive oral sex he was lost for words. When I returned he was cooking breakfast and chatting about something that didn't make sense to me. Not once did he question my whereabouts. Apparently, my facial expression read do not ask.

“Will I what?” I responded. I hadn't mentally settled down from my conversation and I was trying to focus on my Philadelphia trip that evening. I had only a few hours to prepare. A lot was riding on this event.

“I'm inviting you to come to the Gospel Concert with me at my church. I've told my Pastor and First Lady all about you. They're eager to meet you.”

Within the last 72 hours I have kinda lied to my mother about Hunter, had the best sex with Hunter before he went to work, told my cousin off now I'm being invited to go to church. This has to be some cruel joke. But more important I knew that I didn't want to walk into any church. I grew up in the church. I'm no stranger to going to church. But it's one thing to do something wrong and want to change but I had no intentions, as of now, to change my relationship with Hunter.

“Ummm, honey I don't think I can make it. I have plans that night. But if something changes I would love to go.” I couldn't look him in the eye.

“Okay, no problem. Just let me know.” Was all he said. No pushing. He was always so understanding and calm. A million women would love to be with him including me, so why am putting my relationship with Tim in jeopardy for Hunter. These last 72 hours have been an emotional hell all because of my choice to be with Hunter. And also, opening my big mouth and telling Rachel about it. I couldn't let my decision to be with Hunter stop my life. The next day I called Tim and told him that I would love to join him at church.

Exactly at 5:58pm Tim knocked at my door. Opening it to a smiling man who was eager for me to become apart of his world. Grabbing my coat we walked out hand in hand, smiling like two teenagers in love. 

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COCKTAIL LOUNGE

JANUARY 29, 2012

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