I'm so sorry

Hey Dolls,

I've missed you SO much.  I've been writing and re-writing this book, that's why I haven't been able to update. I will update VERY SOON!!! In the mean time send me an email about what new with your life -- thoughtsofamistress@gmail.com

Love,
Victoria

Untitled Post

No word from Hunter...

Dirty Little Secrets

Walking into Rachel's newly opened store in Jersey Garden's Mall in New Jersey my mouth dropped. The design was similar to her Manhattan store but this store was more then 2000sq ft. I knew that she was working on a new project but I didn't realized it was to this extreme. There was boxes everywhere. Her store doesn't officially open until next month. Walking around I looked inside the boxes and saw different designer labels as well as up and coming labels, including her personal label.

Mistress Thoughts #3 (Let's obtain our dreams together)

Dear Readers, Dolls, Etc,

First off I want to thank you for following me through this crazy and emotional journey. Your support and non-judgemental thoughts have given me comfort in the hard times. I hope that this blog has given you some sort of entertainment in your hard times.  The journey isn't over, by far, but I'm glad that we are walking through this together.

Earlier this month I decided to submit my soap opera manuscript "ENVY" to a publisher in the UK. As off this past Monday the contract has been signed and it's official "ENVY" will be in bookstores this June (UK) and September (USA).

Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I know that you all are going after your dreams too. Let's obtain our dreams together.

With love,
Victoria

He's not mine. I'm not his

Looking directly at Hunter I wasn't sure if he was joking or being completely serious. We decided to meet for an early dinner after we both had a stressful day. The small authentic Mexican restaurant on the Upper East Side was one of my favorites. The live Mexican band played while diners decided if they were going to try the $35.00, $40.00 or $50.00 shot of Tequila. The food was superb!!

Hunter continued to eat as if nothing insane was just spoken. “Are you serious?” I asked. Maybe I was hearing things. I've learned recently that I have some hearing loss.

“I'm very serious. I don't like you being with Tim as much as you do.” Hunter replied. Never meeting my glaze.

“So what am I suppose to do? Just wait until you have an free afternoon to spend with me. You're nuts.” Confused, I couldn't believe that he would say such a thing.

“I'm not telling you want to do. I'm saying that I don't like it. Your getting to close to him. You just got out of a marriage --” Holding my hand up, interrupting his sentence “I'm asking you again, You want me to wait for you?”

“I'm not saying wait. I'm saying that I thought that we would have some time to ourselves before you got into a serious relationship. I know this is selfish, but its how I feel. I love you Victoria. Just the thought of him...”

Mentally, I'm completely able to understand where this is coming from. Hell, I've been there with him. Knowing that his wife is spending an Saturday afternoon with him would send me into an emotional frenzy. But I had to come to a conclusion: He not mine.

Now that the tables have turned it's Hunter's turn to understand: I'm not his.

“I'm not going to stop seeing him.” Finally meeting my eye contact. “That upset's me.” he finally said.

We finished the rest of our dinner in silence...

Meet Victoria Charleston

Mistress Thougths #2 (I Love Hollywould)

Funny how certain things can trigger a memory. A smell or music can take the mind back to that perfect moment. Walking into my closet I saw several light blue shoe boxes. Smiling I grabbed the boxes gently hoping to keep them in there perfect condition. Opening the boxes and lining them along the wall I could smell the mixture of ALLURE perfume by Chanel. I mentally flashed back to my love of Hollywould shoes days and when I purchased my first pair.

Forgiven

Facing my cousin I saw the tears running down her face. Rachel isn't one to cry or for that matter she isn't one to show outward emotions. It has been months since I've spoken to her. In my heart it seemed like eternity.

“I'm so sorry. I'm truly sorry.” Rachel kept saying as we stood in the bathroom.

She arrived at on of my business luncheons unannounced. Rachel have called me several times, sent emails and text. But I didn't return any of her calls, emails, or text messages. My assistant knowing who she was but didn't know about our fight told her my whereabouts. Shocked by her bold move, I ushered her into the bathroom.

“Victoria, you have to know that I wouldn't do anything to hurt you. Your my cousin more like a sister.” Scanning the bathroom Rachel continued, “I'm so sorry Victoria. It's been killing me that we haven't talked and that your so angry with me. I know that we can't go back to where we were but do you think that we can try and rebuild our friendship?”

Not having much time to discuss what happen or even my emotions I looked into Rachel's eyes. I saw my cousin, the cousin that would babysit me when my parents went to concerts, the cousin that would teach me how to put on my make-up, the cousin who taught me how to love oneself above anyone else, I saw the cousin that became my sister.

Hugging Rachel I felt a ton of bricks lift from my shoulders. Not realizing the weight that I've been carrying around. Wiping the tears away, “I missed you so much. Afterward your meeting can we share in a cocktail and talk without emotions or judgment?”

With a small smile I nodded my head yes.

Happy Valentine's Day

Hunter: I miss you. I want to be with you right now.

Victoria: Where are you?

Hunter: Getting ready to take my wife to a Valentine's dinner. Where are you?

Victoria: At Tim's place. He's cooking dinner

Happy Valentine's Day

Representative

It isn't the over the top moments that make me smile with Tim. It's the small things that makes me blush. It's when he text me good night no matter how tried he is or when he comes over he always brings my favorite candy, Jolly Ranchers. Once he brought me every book one of my favorite authors had written. When I'm with him I feel like he's really listening and processing everything I say.

Mistress Thoughts #1 (An Unusual Proposal)

I'm constantly traveling. Over the last 12 years I've traveled at least twice a year. I love airports. So many different people from different parts of life coming together under one roof. I’m a people watcher by nature and I couldn’t help but notice all the women with diamond rings on their left hand. Naturally I glanced down at my own hand and knew without looking that it was bare. Hey, I want a diamond ring, too!!!

The Pleasure of Me

Sitting on my couch reading a juicy Jackie Collins novel I felt the sexual throbbing sensation between my legs. The feeling that there was a sudden build up of tension and the only way to relieve the tension was for a release.

Other People's Property

Blinded by rage as soon as I felt the sting in the palm of my hand, I knew that I had made contact with his face. How dare he speak to me that way? I don't give a damn who he think he is or how important he thinks his opinion's are? No one disrespects me and think that I'm going to be okay with it.

Cocktail Lounge

Hey Dolls,

I'm so sorry but I'm feeling very ill today. I won't be able to host the Cocktail Lounge today. But be sure to check back for the re-scheduled time.

xoxo,
Vic

The question is...

So my question is...

I was applying the last touches of my make-up. Tim said that he would be here at 6pm and he was a man true to his word. Tonight I was going to his church. Not having gone to church since starting my relationship with Hunter, I didn't know what to expect. Would the walls come tumbling down because an adulteress walked into the building? Turning off my bathroom light, I waited in the living room for Tim to arrive, while I waited I mentally flashed back to the day he asked me...

Something fierce inside you...

Previously on Thoughts of a Mistress

I set a few new year goals. One of the them learning how to give a lap dance. (A mistress resolution's)

***

“Make sure you roll your body. Imagine you're making a letter S.” Sticking to my new year resolutions I was taking a lap dance class. Maya was with her honey and Rachel and I wasn't on speaking terms so I came to the class alone. There was six other women and one gay man inside the studio. The instructor who was known only as “Priscilla”. Standing only 5'1 her looks was one of a typical blond bombshell. Big hair, big boobs, the whole nine. She was an ex-stripper that decided to teach women to get in touch with their inner “sex goddess”.

Motivation

Previously on Thoughts of a Mistress

Hunter worked out 2 ½ hours per day!!! (Am I fat? No... But)

***

Victoria: Hey you

Hunter: Hey you. How is your day so far?

Victoria: Okay. Mind is some place else. Not getting much work done. How are you?

Hunter: I'm better now. Its nice that you are thinking of me. I like feeling needed. How is workout boot camp going?

Friend or Foe

“Girl I've been doing your hair for years. Why does your ends look like this? I've only been away for a week.” Maya asked when I sat in her chair to get my hair maintained. “Have you been worrying about something?”

I hadn't had a chance to tell Maya about the incident with Rachel or my mother's phone call. When the incidents happen she was at a major magazine editorial shoot in LA. As soon as she returned, I made an appointment ASAP.

“Let me tell you what happen...” I launched into the emotional story. By the time that I was finished Maya was standing in front of me with her hand on her hip, eyes narrowed, and twirling her sharp scissors around, effortless, in one hand.

“Oh hell naw. NOPE. You want me to get Ray-Ray and Big Tony to go and trash her store? The chick won't have nothing in her store when they're done. Plus Big Tony wants you. He will do anything you ask. You don't give up information like that. That's a woman's silent code. Cousin or not that bitch ain't your friend.”

Laughing I told her it was okay. I could deal with it. I've seen Big Tony and he isn't someone you play with.

But Maya did bring up a excellent point. Is there a good time to break a silent code and if you do are you a friend or foe?

Smile

Prevously on Thoughts of a Mistress

Hunter and I have a strong chemistry (Intense Chemistry  Part 1)

***

I needed a little spice in my life. Over the last couple of days things was getting too emotional. Between Rachel and my mom, I desired some fun time. I rented a room right outside of Manhattan. It wasn't our usually hotel but I knew that Hunter wouldn't mind. It was in a tiny town out of the way.

Switching Gears

Previously on Thoughts of a Mistress

I started my own publishing company (High Glitz Lounge)

My cousin told my secret (A broken bond) and to top it off my mother confronted me about Hunter (Camouflaged Truth)

***

“I can not believe that you would say something? That was completely fucked up and to Diane too. That's adding insult to injury.” I screamed at Rachel as she exited the taxi. I hadn't spoken to anyone about my mother's conversation. I'm felt so ashamed after we talked. But somewhere between the evening and the next morning my ashamed turned into raged. I became raged at the person that caused this. Grabbing my coat I ran outside my house. I was headed to her apartment when I realized that she would be opening her store soon. Jumping off the train, I grabbed a taxi and waited for Rachel outside her store.

Camouflaged Truth

Previously on Thoughts of a Mistress

My cousin told my secret (A broken bond)

***

The phone was still in my hand and I was shaking uncontrollably and the tears continue to flow. I spoke to my mother like I do everyday over the phone. But today I could tell something was on her mind. Before we got off the phone she said, “Your Auntie Diane called and mentioned something about you dating a married man. Now I'm not even asking if you are because I know that you not. I know you and I know I raised a good girl and I know that you wouldn't dare have anything to do with someone else's husband. Not because you saw first hand how it broke my heart but because you have too much self respect. I just wanted to tell you the lie that your aunt told me.”

I can't stop crying...

High Glitz Lounge -- ENVY

Coming Soon in February 2012

 

A fictional soap opera novel series by Victoria Charleston

Picture Perfect

Previously on Thoughts of a Mistress

Tim asked me to be his girlfriend (Total Satisfaction)

***

The evening was picture perfect. The sky was crystal clear, inside our cabin the fire was glowing beautifully inside the fireplace, my not so good attempt to make a romantic dinner was on the stove untouched and Tim and I was about to share in our first New Years Eve kiss. I couldn't ask for anything better. Reflecting over the last couple of months I would have never thought that I would be sitting with a wonderful man sharing in such a romantic situation.

A Mistress' New Year's Resolutions

If you've read my blog you know that I'm not shy sexually. There's nothing sexier then exploring my man's body with my tongue or having him take me from behind. But its that time of the year where we all make new resolutions. A New Year, A New You. While I have my resolutions for other areas of my life I wanted to share my sexy resolutions. Every woman should have a list.

Welcome 2012

This is the beginning of something really special...