Nervous, anxious, excited was all the emotions that I was feeling at 1:30pm. Hunter and I had arranged a phone meeting. The sexy emails and pictures began to weigh in on the suspension. Who is this man? The phone rings I look at the caller ID, its him. I took a deep breath, made sure no one was around to here my conversation, I then picked up the phone “Hello...”
Interesting...Our conversation didn't have that same sizzle that our emails had. I imagine that our phone's would blow up from the heat between us. Pleasant: yes; Sweet: yes; Passion: NOPE. Now you all know by now one of the reason that I'm entering into a relationship with a married man is for the passion. If our phone conversation doesn't have the passion, how will the sex be? I understand that its our first conversation: the meeting stage, trying to figure each other out. But we clicked so much through email that at one point during the conversation I had to ask myself, was this the same person? We went through the pleasantries of our day and reiterated about our past. The call lasted about 20 minutes, if that.
A man's voice... I love a man's voice. When a man's voice is dripping with sex, masculinity, and power he can give a woman chills with just a whispers in her ear. Hunter's voice...I didn't care to much for it. It was masculine but not deep and sultry. It reminded me of a fun sunny afternoon in spring, not a hot, steaming summer night. I once dated a man whose voice was so sexy that I would call him in the middle of the night just to get a chill and wet. His voice was all types of yummy. But Hunter's it wasn't and that's so disappointing...
At one of those awkward silent moments, I asked what did he do after work. Hunter begins to explain that he goes to the gym for 2 ½ hours a day. TWO IN A HALF HOURS A DAY!!!! You've got to be kidding me. His body must look like an athlete. At this point I'm thinking, I'm not trying to fuck his voice. But reality begin to sink in. This information made me panic a little. I'm lying, it made me panic a lot. Am I fat? No. But I do have extra love handles to give out and more then a hand full of thighs. My stomach isn't exactly flat as an iron board. My breast size is 44DD. My daily exercise consist of walking up the stairs to my apartment. I will hail a taxi in a New York minute to get me from point A to point B.
That really mean and ugly voice inside my head started yelling, quite loudly, “He isn't going to like you. You're going to disgust him. He wants a size 6 and you're FAR from that” What do you do when you co-sign with the mean and ugly voice? I'm attractive, of course, but I could stand to lose some pounds. What to do? What to do? My inner diva voice wasn't speaking yet...
I began formalizing a plan in my mind to give him a heads up on my issues with my body but before I could explain anything to him, I took my position as number two, as his wife clicked in the phone and we ended the conversation IMMEDIATELY...
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